Tuesday, June 18, 2013

...and the World's Best Auntie Award goes to......................

I'm not a grandmother.  THANK GOD I'm not a grandmother but I AM an Auntie.  I have 5 nieces and 9 nephews and I'll be the first to say I'm the COOLEST AUNT EVER!  I let my nieces and nephews have and do whatever they want when they're with me.  I look at it like I'm getting back at my siblings in a strange kind of way.  Like we're playing an awesome game of LIFE and I'm in the lead.  Let's be honest, they should all be VERY used to this by now.

I've said the craziest things to every one of my nieces and nephews at some point.  I actually remember a Christmas gathering at my in-laws where I told my nephew Stephen that I'd give him a dollar if he could find me some vodka for my lemonade.  At the time he had NO idea what Vodka was but to think that he probably asked his parents on their way home about it (or even better, his grandma) just cracks me up!
Another time I told my nephews Miah and Austin that grandma said they could get into the cookies before we ate.  Bahahaaaahaha!!  My mom was so pissed at them so then their mom got pissed at them.  Everyone was yelling and while their mom was dragging one (Austin) to the bathroom to get his butt busted I fessed up and said I told them they could have the cookies.  I mean it's not World War III people!  It's just cookies!  If they're at my house I'll let them have the damn cookies instead of their dinner because I think we need a lot more fun in this world...and because I can.

This brings me to a recent visit from my nieces.  To protect their privacy we'll call them Micky and Maddy instead of MacKenzie and Madison.  I taught them all kinds of fun stuff like Road Rage and Revenge!  On our way to Bug's graduation some TOTAL JACKASS cut in front of a HUGE line of waiting cars and got in front of us so I did what any crazy auntie does and called Uncle John who was a few cars ahead of us.  I told him the whole ugly story and about what a big jerk this guy was and then asked him to please pull out in front of Mr Jerkface Line-Cutter...AND HE DID!  Hahhahahahah!  It was the BEST!  The Jackass car people were honking and yelling and we were laughing and laughing!  You see? You have to teach your own kids to be merciful and to forgive others but you don't have to teach your nieces and nephews any of that crap!  That's what they have parents for!

When Micky and Maddy got home from their super awesome visit they got some horrible news.  Their parents split up after 15 or 16 years or something.  I was so saddened by this news and for them that I waited a day or two then texted each of them individually to see how they were handling it.
Here's how that went with the first niece (my texts are in green hers are pink):

I felt like that went well so I checked on the other one:
 I went on to tell them that they could probably guilt their mom into another trip down to the beach before school starts if they play their cards right.  I'm hoping to see them again sometime in July.  As for my other nieces and nephews? I can't wait to see every single one of them.  They're all a little older now so trouble is a lot easier to find...especially with an Auntie like me!

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