See how miserable I am when I'm with them?
(this is me with Flint and Mari and Pearl. I like them)
Ok, so I like some of them. I do have a very small "friend" circle though. Very small. And while you're thinking right now of your friends and what they mean to you, you can be sure that it's not at all what a friend means to me.
See? I don't do high maintenance. I can't handle it (can't means won't in almost every single situation in life unless you're trying to fly). In the past I've had friends who need to talk to me every single day and hang out with me at LEAST once a week and blah, blah, blah. Ugh! NO! Yuck! I have Gordito for that. I like him WAY better than anyone else so if I have free time I want to spend it with him. I've REALLY tried to weed those needy people out of my life simply because they need more from me than I'm willing to give. It's only fair to them and to me (mostly me) to let them fly away to find other freaks with a weird sense of need for female companionship...some of them are still hanging on but for the most part I'm in a good "friend" place.
If you're wondering right now if you're one of the freaks hanging on...you are.
I struggle a little with introvertism. Oh...according to Spell Checker that's not a word.
So, I have a condition known as reclusivitis. Well, again, Spell Checker disagrees but it's only because Spell Checker has never experienced what I experience on a daily basis. I do LIKE to go out and do stuff occasionally (not really) but I mostly just like the IDEA of it. So to give you an example of what goes on in my head here's what happened today:
I saw this on Facebook
And my I-like-having-friends part of my brain said, "Oh, that might be fun. I like some of those girls and I DO need to get out of the house. I'll text it to Gwen and see what she thinks."
So I texted Gwen.
A million times in 15 seconds:
By the time Gwen got to her phone from the 56 or 70 texts in a row of the crazy conversation going on in my head I'd already talked myself out of it. Fortunately for me, Gwen knows me and she basically said, "You're stupid. We're going." and that's why she's in the circle.
Of course, we may not go. It depends on if the stars line up or Jesus comes back before then or her kid pukes on her shoes or whatever but I know she understands me and that's all I can really ask for.