Sunday, April 21, 2013

Jesus saved my soul but roller derby was a close second.

I live with fibromyalgia.  It's awesome!  For those of you who still believe this is a made-up condition that doesn't really exist, I totally agree...until I wake up.
A lot of people ask me what it feels like (including doctors) and I have found myself trying to come up with an explanation.  Here's what I've got so far:

I am a retired roller girl

Retired so that I have more time for Art, my lover (see previous post).

Roller derby is a sport that digs itself into your soul...
...and it hurts.
(Just like Fibromyalgia)
Basically, the goal is to kill each other:

You can see here that Gwen wants to kill me...
...and I want to kill her.

Now, imagine how that feels the next morning.  Like someone took a bat and beat you with it. I don't mean the cute beady-eyed kind from the cave but the pine-tar kind that can knock the skin right off a baseball.  Ya see?  Fibromyalgia hurts   just like roller derby hurts.  Derby just gave me a reason for waking up every morning in pain, almost like I earned it or deserved it.  It didn't make me hurt less, it just made it easier for my brain to understand.

Last night I went to my first bout since retiring.  It was great!  It was great to see my derby sisters out there killing each other and it was great to sit behind the bench not on it.  I didn't miss it.  I was so glad.  Don't get me wrong, I LOVE the sport but last night I realized that chapter in my life is closed.

So, for all those girls who woke up this morning 
feeling like they'd been hit by a Mac truck 
all I can say is:
Thank you Hurricane Alley Roller Derby

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